The Sad Beige Mom: A Potential Threat To Child Development And *Gasp* Your Aesthetic

If you’ve clicked on this article, you’ve probably seen that recent viral TikTok of a mom spray painting her child’s toy Christmas tree a more neutral colour to match her living room aesthetic.

If not, I’ll fill you in. A mom spray-painted her child’s toy Christmas tree a more neutral colour to match her living room aesthetic.

A TikTok comment section is usually a mixed bag, but this one in particular was a tidal wave of vitriol. The video quickly surpassed 8 million views, and comments about toxic paint aside, the main criticism was overwhelmingly about motherhood selfishness. Is dampening the bright colours of children’s toys really a slight to them? Many argue it is, and further than that, it allegedly impacts their development.

The Christmas tree makeover is just one example of things parents are doing to be dubbed a Sad Beige Mom. Other examples include beige nursery themes, neutral clothing, and wooden-only toys. Anyone could understand the headache-inducing vibe of a Chuck-E-Cheese being a bit of a turn-off, but this may be a swing too far in the other direction. 

A short history of the sad beige mom

More often than not, we get swept up in new internet lingo when the hype has, or is already about to reach its peak. But how do these new terms originate? For “sad beige mom” it seems to be a combo of a few things. 

Kim Kardashian is known for a lot (I could make a whole other article, or 5) and one of them is her simple, monochrome, bare-bones interior design choices. Large looming stark-white arching hallways, crisp cavernous rooms with nothing aside from a single white sofa, and kitchen sinks that are set almost flush with the countertop are the pinnacle of home design to her and her fans. This aesthetic, while controversial, has taken the internet by storm.

Montessori toys, known for their simple wooden design have also risen in popularity, seemingly around the same time. Coincidence? Although a lot of Montessori products do integrate colour, many of them are light sandy wood, allowing for the beige connoisseur parents to stay “on trend” with home decor. 

Possibly the most impactful trend for kicking off an influx of sad beige moms, however, is the rise in popularity of neutral kid’s clothing. Celebrities (looking at you again, Kim) have made their families look oh-so-instagram-able by dressing them in sandy monochrome fits. Thousands of people hopped on the bandwagon because it’s so damn “cute” to have kids dress stylish or cutting-edge. But the “dress your kid like Moses - house of beige” pipeline is a steep one. 

Was it a single one of these trends that have kicked off the new term? Was it a combo? Nobody is sure who lobbed the first “sad beige mom” comment, but it took off and snowballed with no sign of stopping.

The backlash

Now, a lot of people chalk up the “sad beige mom” critique to be a funny (and well-deserved) roast. Many are in the “Let kids be kids! Empower them to make their own decisions!” camp, and it’s hard to argue against this point. Ask a 4-year-old their favourite colour. Is it going to be princess pink? Dinosaur green? Or… Wheat? 

And for the wee ones who aren’t able to choose for themselves yet, sure. Dressing your kid in a white knit sweater similar to something you’d wear is cute from time to time. But when it’s an all-the-time rule, it feels like — from an outside perspective especially — a premature damper on a child’s creativity. 

These pokes and prods at the “sad beige” parental decision range from harmless fun to genuine outrage and concern from social media commenters. But how much truth is there to what the most outspoken naysayers are spouting?

How the sad beige aesthetic truly impacts child development

Alright, let’s talk developmental facts. We’ll start with clothing.

It might be obvious, but children learning to dress themselves on their own is a great way to develop their motor skills. When it comes to c hoosing what to wear, there are quite a few benefits as well including an increase in self-confidence, self-esteem, independence, and decision-making skills. The more varied their options are, the more engaging it is for the kids to make their choices.

As far as toys go, the argument against sad beige moms is that neutral toys hinder colour perception development, but the flip side of the argument claims that babies, at least, only see black and white anyway. As it turns out, the black and white thing? Myth. In that study, Alice Skelton describes a baby’s colour vision as similar to ours, but they are particularly engaged by high colour contrast in the early stages. 

Overall, would beige clothing and toys slow child development drastically more than a child who grew up with every colour of the rainbow? No. Luckily, there are enough stimulating colours out in the world for your child to marvel at, assuming they’re not locked inside. So considering the potential developmental implications, the worst we can say about sad beige moms is that they’re boring. Maybe the “selfish for choosing your aesthetic over the kid’s choices” might hold a little weight too, depending on how far Ms. Greige takes things. 

Adding to the pile of never-ending mom-shaming

If you’ve looked into parent-centred content for more than a minute or two, you’ll notice that on even the most seemingly harmless posts, there’s a good chance that one mom’s proud moment is another mom’s opportunity to shame. 

Mommy content has always been a “which one of us knows best” contest, with moms scrambling to one-up each other in a never-ending thread. It’s known as notoriously toxic to most, but what if the majority of the shamers are right? Where is the line separating a paranoid helicopter mom who’s looking to berate you, and a concerned genuine parent trying to look out for your kid? 

It’s hard to say. But in general, if you’re getting the same feedback or warning in an onslaught of comments, it might be a good rule of thumb to do your research or call a professional. In the case of the sad beige mom, it’s a funny dig, but too far down the (taupe) rabbit hole could lead to an influx of teasers and haters, at the very worst. I can say with full confidence though, to skip the toxic paint. The Christmas tree looks adorable in green.